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When Shadow Slitted Her Innocence

Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 2:43 am
by Baby Bear
Inside the delusion of grandeur,
She pitter-patter on cobblestone,
Curiousity hid behind blossoms,
Where guttural growls could be honed,
She stood in fear, Breath deceased from her lungs,
Malevolence stalked, As she broke into a run,

Serrated grin, A foul entity,
Followed the path of her sweet mensrual scent,
Her praiseworthy cunt emits,
Slithering through the drips, Within pints of shame,
Closing in closer,
She'd surely go down in flames,

Pacing through skeletal trees,
Her terror continues to feed as well as anxiety,
Pausing behind the thickest tre trunk,
Hoping the nightmare will fade,

Closing her eyes,
There was no surprise,
That she'd surely die this way,
Faceless corpses rotting in vain,
Who fate brutality ended the same,
Soil ruptured, digging in her toes,

In strike of moment,
The vile shadow arose,
With razorblade instinct,
Its claws had sink, Deep into her features,
Led out of fantasy by this creature,

Hand in hand,
Cut ear from ear,
Shedding her last tear,
She goes the way of all flesh,
Left to rot by evil so immense,

This tradgic night was alit,
When the shadow slitted her innocence

Re: When Shadow Slitted Her Innocence

Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 11:02 pm
by Dud
That was some real nice writing, Bear. Had a real creepy feeling (which I think the idea was), and was generally very good. I hate to nit-pick on a piece as good as this, but is 'slitted' actually a word, or is it suppose to be just 'slit'?

Anyway, aside from that minor error (which actually might not be a error, and a mistake by me :oops:), it was good. Keep the good poems coming, man. :D

Re: When Shadow Slitted Her Innocence

Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 11:35 am
by union_jack
there should be a board for non warriors writing.. a lot of good stuff ends up on hereĀ  :)