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My lyrics!

Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:43 am
by Baby Bear
I have a song that is the genre of Rock that I made.

                                                Stone Samurai

Im unbreakable,I fight with passion
Take down my rival in a orderly and mannerable fashion
blood covers the battle field of the enemies I've slain
They all died by the sword I weild

(Chorus)
Im headstrong from time on
Survive the screams of the dead from now on
I can't pray to the shooting star to take back what I've done

The evil beast enters my soul
I wanna beg for my LIFE!
But too bad the poison took its toll
Somehow my trial will unfold and expose my past

(Chorus)
Headstrong from time on
Survive the screams of the dead from now on
I can't wish upon a star to stop what I've done

Thats all. I could've added some more on it but I think thats enough.

Re: My lyrics!

Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:13 am
by Baby Bear
Hmm...nobody cared enough to reply so I gues it sucks. :|

Re: My lyrics!

Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 4:18 am
by GramercyRiff99
I just saw this, and I don't think it sucks. It could use some revision, but it definitely doesn't suck.

You might want to redo the second line of the first verse. It just really doesn't fit at all. Same with the last line of the second verse (not the chorus). It just doesn't fit in well. Other than that, it's pretty good.

Re: My lyrics!

Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 5:59 pm
by adam88
Yeah, i just saw this myself.  I don't think it sucks at all.  Its very creative, and really describes your inner emotions from your soul.  Its good to hear that you like to express your self, and communicate.
Remember, the opposite of war, isn't peace, its creation.

Re: My lyrics!

Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:47 am
by Baby Bear
Oh thanks.
I think I'll make some more Lyrics soon.
Cuz im trying to see if I can pull the talent of being a songwriter just like writing fan fics.