Whose Line Is It Anyway: Warriors Edition!

[Space Toaster]

Announcer: Good evening folks, this is Whose Line Is It Anyway?

(The camera zooms in on the stage, four people are sitting there, three guys and one girl)

?He?ll shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a Popsicle, Ajax!?

(Ajax flexes, the fangirls scream)

?The cutest Warrior ever, Rembrandt!?

(Rembrandt grins bashfully, the fangirls go AWWWW)

?He?s got the big one, he's Vermin!?

(Vermin winks at the camera, Space Toaster squeals happily)

?And she?s a fanfic character, Baby of The Valkyries!?

(She giggles and waves)

And here?s your host, Spaaaaaaaace Toaster!

(Space Toaster runs out in a suit and Drew Carey?s Buddy Holly glasses. She takes a seat at the desk, and takes out a coffee mug with ?Ajax Loves Me More Than You? written on it)

Toaster: Hello and welcome to Who?s Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything?s made up and the points don?t matter. That?s right, the points are just like ?protection? to Ajax!

(The audience laughs, Ajax glares at Toaster and makes a cutting motion across his throat)

Toaster: (Chuckles nervously) Did I say Ajax? I meant Vermin.

Vermin: HEY!

Toaster: Sorry Verm. And now for our first game, Party Quirks! (Holds out a hat that looks like Cowboy?s Stetson) Baby will be the host, the guys will all take a slip of paper from this hat saying what their quirk is and Baby will have to guess who they are, and go.

(The guys all take a slip of paper and read it, while Baby mimes getting ready for a party)

Baby: I?m sure looking forward to this party. (Doorbell sound) Be there in a minute! (Mimes putting on a bra and a shirt, much to the audience?s laughter and answers the door) Hi!

Ajax: (Charo on caffeine) (Speaks super fast in a high pitched voice) Hi-how-are-ya-I?m-fine-thank-you-boy-I-love-coffee-don?t-you-love-coffee-cuchi-cuchi! (Wiggles his butt, several fangirls faint while Toaster fans herself)

Baby: Er, yes, I like coffee-(Doorbell) Excuse me. (Answers the door) Hi, come on in!

Vermin: (A Wookiee in heat) RRRRRRRRRRR!!! (That?s supposed to be the Wookiee sound)

Baby: Hi, I?m Baby, what?s your name

Vermin: RRRRRRR!!! (Starts humping her leg, the audience cracks up laughing)

Baby: AGH! Um, nice?doggie! (Doorbell) Excuse me! (Pulls herself away from him and goes to answer the door)

Vermin: RRRRR!!! (Goes over to Ajax)

Ajax: (Wiggles again) If-you-hump-my-leg-I?ll-beat-you-with-my-maracas-capice?!

Vermin: (Walks away, still making the Wookiee noise)

Baby: (answers the door) Hi!

Rembrandt: (A stoned Trekkie) (Staggers and holds up his hand with his middle and ring finger separated) Uhhhhh, live long and prosper, damn, I can like, SEE the music!

Baby: Nice to meet you too, Mr. Klingon.

Rembrandt: Duhh?

Vermin: (Runs over to him) RRRRR!!! (Humps his leg)

Rembrandt: (Tries not to break character) Whoa, hey, Carrie Fisher, I?m your biggest fan. KAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!

Baby: My, Mr. Trekkie, you must be really stoned!

Toaster: (Hits the buzzer, laughing. Rembrandt cracks up and goes to sit down)

Ajax: Cuchi-cuchi-damn-I?m-hyper! (Wiggles)

Baby: How much coffee did you drink, Charo?

(BUZZZ!!_

Ajax: FINALLY! (breaks character and goes to sit down)

Vermin: RRRRRR!!! (Goes back to humping Baby?s leg)

Baby: Sorry Mr. Wookiee, these relationships never work out!

(BUZZZZ!!)

Vermin: (Breaks character, both he and Baby crack up laughing)

Toaster: Okay, 1000 points to Ajax for?obvious reasons. 500 to Vermin for doing a better Wookiee call than my brother, 900 to Rembrandt for getting the stoned look accurate, and 2000 to Baby for being able to withstand Vermin getting it on with her leg.

Vermin: (Smoking a cigarette) Best I?ve had in ages.

Baby: (Smacks him upside the head)

Toaster: (Chuckles) And now we move onto my favorite game, Scenes From A Hat! The audience writes down a scene and we see how many the guys and girl can act out. Starting with, (Pulls out a slip of paper) People You Really Don?t Want To See Naked!

Rembrandt: (Walks out, and speaks in a nasally voice) Hi?I?m Vermin

Toaster: (Cracks up laughing)

Vermin: (Flips Rembrandt off and walks down, and speaks in a high-pitched voice) Warriors, come out to plaaaa-ee-aaaaaay!

Luther: (From the audience) I RESENT THAT!

Toaster: (Takes out another slip of paper) The Secret Lives of The Warriors

Ajax: (steps out onto the stage) I?m Rembrandt?but you can call me anything. (Turns with his back to the audience and hums porno music, shaking his ass while taking off his vest) 

Rembrandt: (Runs out and mimes sitting down like he?s watching him strip) And I?m Ajax. YEAH! TAKE IT OFF!

Ajax: (Smacks Rembrandt with his vest while Toaster cracks up laughing)

Baby: (Replaces Rembrandt and Ajax on the stage) (Speaks in a very deep voice) When I?m in a dress, they call me Mercy!

Swan and Mercy: HEY!

Baby: (Runs offstage, giggling)

Toaster: (Takes out another slip of paper) ?What Ajax Is Thinking Right Now.

Ajax: (Steps out) I?m the toughest guy in the city, what the hell am I doing?!

(The audience cracks up laughing as Vermin replaces Ajax)

Vermin: (looks over at Toaster lustfully) DAMN, that Toaster chick has nice boobs.

Ajax: GRAAAAAAAH!!! (Chases Vermin offstage with a bat)

Baby: (Sidelong to Vermin) How much do you want to bet he was really thinking that?

Rembrandt: Ten bucks.

Baby: You?re on.

Toaster: Er, due to some technical difficulties we will take a short intermission!

[KingOfTheWarlords]

  =D> Nice Work hope you do another one

[CAZ]

oh god, thats the funniest stuff i've read in ages!

and you're way mor gutsy than me!

[Daddy Cool]

this was hilarious u should try puttin in Cleon,Fox(if possible)Snow,Cochise, and Masai on the next one 8)

[CAZ]

hey, daddy cool,..........YOU FORGOT COWBOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[StickWarrior]

SPACE TOASTER! You have to make more man! It as awesome!

[Ajax_91]

that was awesome! i could picture ajax chaseing vermin with the bat lol good stuff! i hope you make another!

[Space Toaster]

Space Toaster: Back from an extended hiatus this is Whose Line Is It Anyway, Warriors Edition!

He wishes we was packed, he’s Cowboy!

Cowboy: *tips his hat to the audience*

He's good, real good, in fact he's the best, he’s Swan!

Swan: *nods politely*

Can you dig it, it’s Cyrus!

Cyrus: *stands up and bows as the audience cheers*

And back from the hospital from some train-related injuries, it’s Fox!

Fox: *waves*

Toaster: *wearing a hat that she obviously stole from a Hi-Hat* Let’s have some fun! *Sits down at the desk, takes of her hoodie to reveal a ‘I <3 guys in Stetsons’ t-shirt*

Cowboy: Nice shirt.

Toaster: I love you too, sweet pea. *looks at the camera* Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway, the show where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter. That’s right, the points don’t matter all, just like the Warriors remake.

Cyrus: Sing it, sista! *applauds*

Toaster: *Squeals* Cyrus called me ‘sista’! Anyhoo, I’m your host Space Toaster, or as Ajax calls me, ‘that short chick who follows me around and calls me ‘pookie’.

Ajax: *in the audience* You said you wouldn’t mention that!

Toaster: I lied, pookie. Keep complaining and I’ll tack ‘bear’ on the end of your pet name.

Ajax: *mutters obscenities*

Cowboy: *sidelong to Swan* No need to ask who wears the pants in THAT relationship.

Ajax: I heard that!

Cowboy: Oops.

Toaster: Anyhoo, let’s kick this off with a little game I like to call Hoedown! All the guys will get up and each sing the verse of a song, making it up as they go along, starting with Cowboy and ending with Fox. What should they sing about?

Luther: Wasting heads!

Toaster: Sold to the weirdo with the huge chin!

Luther: I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.

Toaster: Good! All right, can anyone hear play piano?

Cropsey: Ooh, I do!

Everyone except Cropsey: You DO?

Cropsey: I got a free lesson from a coupon! *runs to the piano and takes a seat, playing the Hoedown theme*

Cowboy: I love wasting heads,
It’s what I love to do
Just don’t make me mad,
And I won’t waste you!
But I can’t waste a head when I’m in a hurry
And that is why I got my butt kicked by the Furies!

*The audience laughs and applauds as Toaster jumps up to square dance with Cowboy*

Swan: Wasting heads is awesome
And I can guarantee
There is no one who can
Waste a head like me!
But when I met Mercy I turned into a fop
That girl didn’t wear a bra and I saw through her top!

*The audience laughs hysterically before the attention is turned over to Cyrus*

Cyrus: Wasting heads and fighting
I don’t give a fig
I just like making speeches
And asking ‘Can you dig?’
But my last speech it was less then my best
‘Cause some stupid psychopath shot me in the chest!

*Luther whistles innocently as the audience laughs*

Fox: I am not a fighter
I am just a scout,
I just know about the gangs
And what they’re all about
I also don’t like women, they are such a pain
The last time I protected one I got hit by a train!

Cowboy, Swan and Cyrus: Got hit by a traaaain!

*The audience laughs and applauds while Toaster crawls back to her seat*

Toaster: Okay, that’s 100 points to all of you, and for the heck of it, 50 points to Cropsey for being our piano man!

Cropsey: *takes a dramatic bow*

Toaster: Okay, and this next game will be Superheroes. What’s going to happen is Cyrus is going to be a superhero dealing with a bizarre world crisis, and the others will come in one at a time, naming the next person and trying to mess them up. Okay, we need a weird superhero name!

Audience: Captain Underpants! Ballerina Boy! Lady Marmalade! Hula Hoop Boy!

Toaster: I like that one! Hula Hoop Boy… Okay, we need a world crisis.

Ajax: *Stands up* The Warriors remake!

Toaster: PERFECT! Okay, Hula Hoop Boy, they’re remaking the Warriors, what are you going to do?

Cyrus: *rolls his hips like he’s playing with a hula hoop and mimes flipping through the channels* Oh NO! A Warriors remake! I hope my super friends get here soon!

*Cowboy leaps in*

Cowboy: I got here as soon as I could!

Cyrus: Thank goodness you’re here, Can’t-Stop-Flailing-Her-Arms Girl!

Cowboy: *now flailing his arms wildly as he talks* So what’s going on?

Cyrus: They’re remaking the Warriors!

Cowboy: NO! They can’t! What are we going to do? *accidentally whaps Cyrus with his flailing arm*

*Fox strolls in*

Fox: Hey guys, what’s going on?

Cowboy: Oh look, it’s The Space Toaster!

Fox: *Starts swaying his hips as he walks and mimes pushing his hair out of his eyes* I started writing this killer fanfic today! ‘Cept I have writer’s block and I really need an iced coffee! I’d kill someone for Starbucks right now!

Toaster: It’s true, I would! But I do NOT walk like that!

Fox: *breaking character* Um, yeah you do.

Toaster: *narrows her eyes and feels her rear end* …Oh dear GOD! Why didn’t anybody TELL me my butt was so big!?

Rembrandt: *pokes* It’s like gelatin!

Toaster: Don’t touch that!

Swan: *walks in finally* Hey, what’d I miss?

Fox: Hey, what’s up, Oversexed-Bellydancer-Boy?

Swan: *Starts rolling his stomach* So what’d I miss?

Fox: They’re remaking the Warriors! If they get rid of Ajax I’m going to kill myself!

Cyrus: What, I’ve an idea!

Cowboy: What?

Cyrus: We’ll just beat up Tony Scott!

Fox: Awesome! I’ll go get my frying pan!

*Toaster laughs and hits the buzzer*

Toaster: Don’t go away we’ll back with more Whose Line Is It Anyway!

[GramercyRiff99]

Epic. Simply epic. Now I can't concentrate on my history essay because I'm laughing so hard, nice going Space Toaster.

[Warriorfan54321]

oh god I havnt seen whose line is it anyway in a while good to see you've made a warriors version of this, and it's hillarious.