The Warriors retold in verse

[Fly]

I'm not much good at inventing stories, so I thought I'd have a go at retelling the story of The Warriors in verse, ballad style.  Here goes, hope you enjoy it!

[Jigsaw]

WOW. WOW. WOW. Holy crap. That is wonderful. Honestly, they could be lyrics for a song, just make a paragraph to use as the chorus. I should know, I'm musically talented. Anyway, that is very well written. I enjoyed every minute I spent reading it, and I'm proud I was the first one able to comment on this.

[LIPPY]

Fly, that was fly. That was really really dope.
I like the way you wrote the story, coz it gave me hope...
to write a little rhyme reply an' try to do it too,
but I'll end it quickly coz I know I ain't as good as you! 

That was REAL good, Fly. 

[Cowboy606]

holy crud that was insanely awsome! you have alot of talent fly. if i could id give you karma, but maybe someone else can for me. by the way, itd be awsome if i could have your permission to make this into a song and record it with my band, and if theres a way to, i could post it up here.

[Jigsaw]

holy crud that was insanely awsome! you have alot of talent fly. if i could id give you karma, but maybe someone else can for me. by the way, itd be awsome if i could have your permission to make this into a song and record it with my band, and if theres a way to, i could post it up here.

Way to steal my idea, buddy.

[Cowboy606]

dude, dont get to full of yourself, i didnt even read your comment.

[Journey]

dude, dont get to full of yourself, i didnt even read your comment.

ur sayin to him, "i didnt even read your comment" and yet you tell him not to get too full of himself.
Good one

[Jigsaw]

dude, dont get to full of yourself, i didnt even read your comment.

I don't know about you guys, but having this guy badmouth a WARRIOR!? I can see a ban coming into view..

[Fly]

Ah, please don't fall out, guys.  Thank you for your compliments, I'm really glad you like the poem.  I hoped people would enjoy it, don't want it to cause arguments.

I'm not really convinced it would work as a song lyric, anyway, I wrote it as an old-fashioned recital piece.

[turnbull_badger]

that is awesome, you're a lyrical genius!

[Cowboy606]

i never badmouthed you. im just saying you just shouldnt just have assumed i stole your idea and just jumped all over me like that without getting the facts. i realise i may have responded rudely, but only cause you were rude to. also, i dont mean this offensively, but i dont think that i should not be allowed to stand up to you just because youve posted more messages than me and your at warrior rank, because that doesnt make you better than me in anyway. what happened was i read her verse then replied. i never saw your comment to even steal it. so if your still mad, then whatever, im sorry for the miscommunication, but im not gnna say sorry for stealing it,  because i didnt. id rather get banned for standing up for myself than admit to doing something i didnt do. but im pretty sure we can both be adults and just forget this right? were all just warriors fans here.

[BTW A.K.A the killer household appliance]

[glow=red,2,300]karma[/glow], i dont usually look on the fan fic section, im impressed by this greatly.
i must ask, how long did this amazing piece of work take you?
and as for the argument, you can both shut up, this is a poem not a song, now kiss and make up, cos i dont wanna give anyone negative karma!!

[Fly]

Well, it didn?t take long to write; it was almost like I was possessed, a lot of it seemed to write itself.  Sunday night just before I fell asleep, I thought of the last line, and then a line to go with it.  Then I realised it would be cool to use a similar line for the opening, so you feel like things have come full circle.  Luckily I was able to remember them in the morning, so I jotted them down on the computer.  Then I kept going back to it at odd moments, in between doing other stuff, and it was done by Tuesday afternoon.

For Lippy and others who like to play around with verse, I?d say the main thing is don?t feel you always have to stick with the first word you think of.  Keep going back to it and you often find something better comes into your mind.  The online thesaurus and rhyming dictionary are very useful!

Stephen King?s book ?On Writing? has a lot of useful advice.  When he finishes a book, he puts it away and doesn?t look at it for three months, then he goes back to it and makes improvements.  Even after a few days I can see a few little tweaks that will improve that poem, just small stuff like changing ?and? to ?with?, or changing word order here and there.

Thanks for the karma, bobo. Maybe there?s other people don?t look at the fan fiction much, so  .....

Send the word!

[Journey]

oops, i was too busy commenting on the arguement, i also thought this was excellent fly 

[Jigsaw]

[glow=red,2,300]karma[/glow], i dont usually look on the fan fic section, im impressed by this greatly.
i must ask, how long did this amazing piece of work take you?
and as for the argument, you can both shut up, this is a poem not a song, now kiss and make up, cos i dont wanna give anyone negative karma!!

Kiss and make up?

Brother, I ain't gay.. lol just kidding around. I regret this arguement very much. Just brang up into someones poem. The poem is wonderful, and this crap wasn't needed on this thread. Sorry about this all Fly, and by the way, Bobo, I didn't say it WAS a song, I said it could easily be made into one. Now that I think of it, it was just off the top of my head as a compliment. I can't see myslef sitting down to write music to that, I mean, I've wrote my own stuff and thats that. Cowboy606, sorry about all the crap we've given eachother. And once again, Fly, sorry about the confusion on your thread.