Big Brother

[War Chief]

Inspired by Space Toaster's "Whose Line Is It Anyway: Warriors Edition!", I present The Warriors Version of Big Brother.

Housemates:

1. Ajax
2. Cochise
3. Cowboy
4. Mercy
5. Snowball
6. Swan
7. Vermin
8. Masai
9. Lincoln
10. Candy Store Girl

It's Day Three in the Big Brother House, and Ajax and Cowboy are in the gym.

Ajax: I'm gonna do some extreme work out whilst I'm in here ... gotta impress the chicks when I get out.

Cowboy: Ah man, I can never be bothered with this crap.

Ajax: And you wonder why you don't get the chicks ... maybe you are just going faggot. Nah, perhaps it is that stupid hat you have on.

Cowboy: I've had this hat for three years, I think it impresses the chicks. I think one of the girls here was checking me out, you know, the one who said she works in the candy store.

Ajax: I think she's looking for some action here ... but I got my sights on that Mercy chick.

Cowboy: She seems to be getting on well with Swan.

Ajax: We'll see about that.

12:45pm. Snowball and Lincoln are in the snug together.

Lincoln: Yeah, I was real upset when Cleon didn't come back. It took me like a month to move on with my life. I was carrying his child and he never knew...

Snowball: Yeah that's heavy.  Still you've made it through.

Lincoln: Thanks for talking with me, you've been real supportive.

Snowball: That's what we Warriors do, support eachother.

2.00pm. Big Brother calls the housemates to the sitting room.

BB: This is Big Brother. As you know, there are ten housemates in the Big Brother House. One of you will be leaving at the end of the week. However, if you successfully complete the challenge we shall set you, you will all get to stay this week.

Vermin: Whoooa yeah! Bring it on.

BB: Would one of you please come to the diary room.

[Cochise goes to the diary room]

Cochise: Hello Big Bro.

BB: Hello Cochise........... You shall find an envelope on the chair. Please take it back to the others, open it and read the instructions out loud.

Cochise: Ehhhh, I can't read.

[Cochise is seen leaving the diary room]

BB: This is Big Brother, would Swan please come to the diary room.

[Swan goes returns with the envelope]

Swan: For one week, the Big Brother house will become a sportsground. You will all need to wear the baseball outfits provided and complete a series of tasks. If you do not complete all the tasks, one housemate will leave at the end of the week...

Ajax: I'm not wearing one of those lame outfits. I'm no Fury.

Swan: Hey stay loose, if you don't wear it, you'll get kicked out of this house.

Ajax: Who named you leader?

Swan: Big Brother.

Ajax: S...

Vermin: Hey man, this could be fun. I've always wanted to wear one of those outfits and swing a few.

Cowboy: That's Vermin, always swinging.

Vermin: Damn straight CB.

Swan: Okay let's get these outfits on.

6:32pm. Masai and Swan are in the Jacuzzi, the other housemates are in the dining room.

Masai: This is great ... us leaders getting a bit of time out to relax.

Swan: Sure is good. It's hard work keeping my crew in line some times.

Masai: You should take a leaf from the Gramercy Riffs. We have a strict regime whereby soldiers caught out of line will be punished and evicted from the group.

Swan: Yeah, we kind of just chill out and relax. We've got members from the old Destroyers gang and they like to stir it up.

Masai: Yeah, Cleon used to send the word about new signups so that we knew not to come down heavy on them. Those Destroyers came looking for trouble every damn week. You've got a good bunch of fighters now. That Snowball has some heavy rep. Not too sure what you need a guy like Cowboy for. I tell you something, if I were you, I'd get rid of him. In fact, I'd vote him out at the end of the week.

8:20pm Masai is in the diary room.

BB: Hello Masai.

Masai: Hello Big Brother.

BB: Earlier today you were caught talking about your vote to Swan. We have no choice but to evict you from the Big Brother house. Please leave now.

[Masai leaves without seeing anybody else]

9:00pm. The housemates have been called to the sitting area.

BB: This is Big Brother. Masai has left the Big Brother House for breaking one of the Big Brother Rules. Housemates are reminded not to talk about who they will vote for.

Ajax: Ah, **** him.

BB: Your first challenge has been up in the garden. You will each have to hit a baseball out of the garden as the Big Brother ball machine fires them at you. You each have three attempts. If three people fail, then you fail the task.

[The housemates move to the garden. Ajax, Cochise and Swan all hit their balls easily].

Ajax: Man, that was easy.

Swan: Not everyone's done it yet. It's not going to be easy at all.

[Swan teaches CSG and Mercy how to swing the bat. Mercy hits her third ball as does Lincoln. CSG misses all three].

BB: You have two lives remaining.

[Cowboy steps up and fails to hit a single ball. His hat obscures his view on the third attempt and the ball hits him in the face].

BB: You have one life remaining.

Vermin: No pressure or anything:

[Vermin hits the first ball, which hits his bat and flies backwards into a glass window which smashes]

Vermin: Ohhh, that didn't bounce.

Snowball: Just me to go.

[Snow smashes the first ball high out of the grounds]

Snowball: Call me Fireball!

Ajax: Put it there brother!

BB: You have successfully completed the task. None of you shall be leaving this week. However, Big Brother would like you to meet your new housemate.

[A girl walks into the garden]

Ajax: Hey hey, this is more like it.

[Cochise and Vermin look at eachother. The girl is wearing a Lizzies shirt].

Cochise: Hey man, is this a kind of sick joke man ... she tried to kill us .........

Coming Soon on Big Brother.... [Music plays and credits roll] ....

[Vermin in the diary room]

Vermin: I'm sorry Big Brother, but I want to leave the house. You can't go pulling this kind of [beep] on people.

[Lizzie chatting to Ajax]

Ajax: So you tried to kill my friends .... you .... with that pretty face?

Lizzie: That was a long time ago, it was a mix up.

Ajax: It's good enough for me ....

[Lights go out]

[War Chief]

Man I'm tired. I'll have to check back at my first real foray into this fan fiction malarky in the morning ... 

[warlord jp]

Cool story warchief, and i get how you feel tired, writing long stories gets you feel kind of sleppy and tireished!
Rest and try to make anoyher one if you can, or if you want!

[Daddy Cool]

i like it i like it,keep writin 8)

[Sleeping Dragon]

Like it Warlord,keep on writin!!

[Warriorfan54321]

awesome please continue

[Cowboy Is Cool]

It's awesome, WC! Please, keep writing!