A door slam woke me up from my nap at the kitchen table. I looked around, sighed, and brushed my hair away from my face. The apartment was a wreck, as always. The sink was stacked with dirty dishes, the living room floor littered with empty cans and bottles and half-empty potato chip bags. There were about fifty Playboy/Hustler/whatever issues shoved under the couch that was my brother’s bed. The tacky flowery wallpaper was peeling and then there were all the mysterious stains on the carpet… I almost tripped over Jason’s stupid dumbbells as I went to see who came in the apartment. Honestly, why does he have to leave his weights in the kitchen of all places? We have a closet!
I walked in to see my oldest brother Jason on the couch, flipping through the TV channels. I was surprised and mad at him at the same time. He hadn’t been home for the past three days after all.
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Last edited by Space Toaster on Sat Apr 07, 2007 2:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
WOW. This has some potential right here! As a matter of fact, this is one of the best examples of writing I have ever seen on this site! Nice to see you haven't stuck to the "OMG HUGE BATTLE IN EVERY CHAPTER MORE VIOLENCE IS BETTER LOL" route that is so commonly taken. Keep this one up, because I know that this is the new story to watch, in my books at least.
I love your exploration of Ajax and his relationships with friends, family, girlfriends. You make him into a such complex character that carries on well from what was established in the movie. I believe that he would be like this before and after the events that took place in the movie. Do you feel that you'll explore any others characters fron the movie in such depth?
Wow, that's some great writing! I like the sort of more intentional humour you gave the characters. I mean, Ajax is pretty funny, but it's nice to see something where I'm finding him funny for a reason other than him being a jackass. You really kept him in character while still being able to explore his personality, kudos. ^_^
I really like this! I've noticed you always come up with very unique ideas Space Toaster instead of just fighting fighting fighting lol I love it, keep it up! / =D>
Thanks a lot everyone for your praise and reviews. I'm especially pleased that not only did you enjoy the story, you told me WHY. I can't stand getting reviews that say 'i like this writ moer plz' . That really means a lot to me, thanks again.
Also, I though I ought to explain why I've featured Ajax in most of my fanfictions. Well, when I saw The Warriors for the first time, he stood out to me. Not because of his brain meltingly good looks (squee!) or his fighting skills, just, HIM. He stood out as the most flawed and human of the characters (Which I credit James Remar for) and I wanted to write what I thought is behind what we see in the movie.
Getting back to the story, I'm having some trouble with writing part 2. (Writer's block, grah!) So if anyone has any suggestions for what they would like to see, feel free to PM me.
Great work. I love the 'Exploration of Ajax' i call it, You can definitely tell that the main character and Ajax are related. Glad to see you post another story.